“When a man lays hold of his brother in his
father’s house saying, ‘You have a cloak,
you shall be our ruler, and these ruins will be under
your charge.’ On that day will he protest saying ‘I will
not be your healer, for in my house there is neither
bread nor cloak; you should not appoint me ruler of
the people.’” Isaiah 3:6-7
Sometimes we are desperate, hurting so much and
looking for someone to lead us out of our misery. We
look to mankind to lead us through the healing process.
Best case no person can heal our pain, our wounds from
past hurts. No one can fill in for those who betrayed us.
Yes that is the best case.
What is the worst case? Someone like Adolph Hitler
comes along and pretends to be a people’s savior.
defeat.
So best case when we turn to those with no power
to heal, they don’t make it worse.
I just read a book called ‘Wild at Heart’ by John
Eldridge. In the book John talked a lot about past
wounds and how they affect our relationships. After
reading the book I was inspired to go to the Lord and
pray for healing. Healing of wounds no doctor or medication
can heal. Wounds only our Holy Father can
heal. “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their
wounds. Great is our Lord and abundant in strength;
Ultimately he led Germany to destruction, a humbling His understanding is infinite. The Lord supports the
afflicted.” Psalm 147: 3,5-6a
The wounds I am talking about are wounds that
break your heart. They are usually inflected by those
who should care about us the most, often our parents.
So as I was praying to be filled by the Holy Spirit;
to have my heart, mind and spirit purified and healed I
felt the presence of God. Suddenly I am speaking a language
I do not understand, this has happened before
when I have been truly connected with the Lord. As
the Spirit was speaking I suddenly started gagging
what was happening. Some may have thought it was
an evil spirit residing within me, but how could that
and coughing. A roar came out of me. I wasn’t sure be as I have accepted the Lord and been filled with His
Spirit. This insight was given to me by my brother Eric
a few days latter when I was led by God to call him and
talk about my experience.
So what was it? It was the Holy Spirit healing my
wounds. Just like if you pour salt on a wound there is
a reaction, often very painful, but it heals. That is why
God tells us to be salt, so He can heal others through
us. Rest assured it is Him, we are only His vehicle.
Another thing that reinforced my understanding
that this was healing going on was two days after this
happened, on Friday night, I was in church and God
brought to mind the night my mother died. That night
I was with her and it was clear she was fading away. I
did not know what to do so I called her hospice nurse,
no answer. I called her doctor, no answer. I did not,
however, call on God. Instead I called 911, I knew she
did not want to be resuscitated, but once I made the call
it was out of my control. When I got to the hospital I
told them to check her chart, because I knew she made
away, she had what appeared, to me, to be a look
of disgust on her face. Here in her last moments I felt
like she was saying I let her down. For nearly 13 years
I could not think about this moment without being
angry, it hurt. I was not able to grieve her passing completely.
I never cried, as I did with my father’s passing
many years before.
So as I was saying that Sunday after my experience
her wishes clear. As I was with her and she was slipping was the first time I was able to think about the night of
my mother’s death with out anger or hurt. As Psalm
147 says God can heal our wounds. All we need to do
is allow Him to apply the Spirit, His Spirit.
